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“He said that it was simpler and more effective just to act, without seeking explanations, and that by talking about my experience and by thinking about it I was dissipating it.”
Carlos Castaneda

Tales of Power

Home

For months I’ve been playing around with this post in my head – it is about a wish. Over the last two weeks this wish has taken a turn and matured into something I can embrace and share. I wish for a home for myself and for Andreea and a family that may grow from our shared journey.

A few months ago we moved to live in the north of Israel (Galil area) with two convictions: (1) we love this area and living here, it is rightfully considered a heaven in Israel; (2) this is our last stop in Israel. The next stop will be somewhere else in the world. Home is a wish embodied in the 2nd conviction. It has evolved from “leaving Israel” to “finding a home”.

  • Home is a welcoming embrace.
  • Home is where our energy can settle and expand.
  • Home is where our destiny can manifest.
  • Home is where we can live a productive and balanced life.
  • Home is where we can pursue our passions & our passions can pursue us.
  • Home is where our passions & actions resonate harmoniously with others.
  • Home is an intimate island in an ever-changing life.

I feel these qualities absent from our lives. In the past this has led to self-judgment and injury and a tiring list of what home is not – no more. It’s time for us to go home.

Posted in Coming Through, Expanding, Featured, inside, Wishes | You are welcome to read 17 comments and to add yours

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-01-22

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Defeated?

A few days ago Andreea told me about a comment that was left on our Bhudeva Romanian speaking website. It was from a Romanian woman who had been following Andreea’s website Feminitate and then discovered Bhudeva where she learned about our life-journey here in Romania. She feels remote, alienated and isolated in her life and is also looking to make a change and was inspired by our efforts and wrote to share that with us.

In her comment she mentioned that others in her social circles speak about “the likes of us”  as people who were defeated by society and that moving out to the village is an act of surrender. I have to admit that at first and in a round-about way this rang true. We were not offended by the idea but it did continue to move in me.

This morning my thoughts on this came into focus. I followed a link that appeared in my Twitter feed with an invitation to join a free online-event with a practitioner and teacher of non-violent communication. I read the post, I browsed around the website some more. There was a spark of interest in me. Then there appeared technical difficulties – the seminar would have required me to dial in (expensive and not really possible for us since we are not in the USA and don’t yet have a decent Internet connection), the time difference placed it in the middle of the night … so the spark began to fade.

Yet even with the spark dimmed I continued to observe. First I asked myself what is it that interests me. I found a basic curiosity and an inherent movement in me that still surfaces now and again to connect with and maybe contribute to others. Then the spark was gone. I am simply not interested any more.

I participated in society in the past. At the same time my consciousness changed … I believe for the better. Then I could no longer participate, I could only try to participate … and for the most part failed. And my consciousness continued to change … I believe for the better. Then I left society.

Is this defeat?

I can see how the societies I lived in would view this as a defeat – as in “society defeated me”. I had different views, different values, I was very critical – that could be perceived as a threat to society and  therefore my departure could be viewed as a defeat.

I could also choose to see this as a defeat of society – as in “I defeated society”. I felt a huge oppressive force before leaving. It was threatening to me – it made me feel stagnated, unworthy. It almost put out my motivation to live. I struggled against it (sometimes not knowing I was struggling nor what I was struggling with) … a long and difficult and unrelenting struggle. In the end I managed to break free from it. I defeated it.

I could also choose to see this as a self-defeating act of society – as in “society defeated itself”. I believe I had (still have) something to contibute to society. I believe that by “defeating” me society may have lost a precious resource – an agent of change. Societies are in a constant struggle to get better. To move away from stagnant and often obsolete patterns towards better ones. Despite my harsh criticism (which I offer and view as contribution) of the societies I left behind I cannot deny that I am their child – they created me. They gave me a set of tools and sent me out to explore the world. I came back with discoveries and society rejected those discoveries together with me. Yes, I can see that as a self-defeating act of society.

But I do not see defeat. I do see peaceful resolution. Though I live purposefuly remote from society I do not disillusion myself into thinking I can live outside of society. I can and choose to live on the fringe. A comment from an unknown woman living in a far away city tells me that from the fringe I am also a contributing member of a society. I have stuck to my views and values and in doing so it seems I have gravitated toward a correct relationship with society. It seems that I have found my  place in society after all. I may not reach many people, I do look forward to reaching the right ones.

Posted in Expanding, inside, Romania | You are welcome to add your comment

Together, Aware

Discipline is a skill, a quality … it isn’t inherently a good or bad thing. Like any other skill it can be functional or dysfunctional.

We are living a life where discipline is required. We chose this life … well not exactly this life but an unknown life … the unknown life we arrived at requires discipline. Many things are transient, they are not as we would want them to be, they can be made better … it takes time. Living this way can be less comfortable and requires more effort. Discipline is a motivation for effort that compensates for lack of comfort.

Discipline is a quality I have. She does not.

This, in a natural flow, shifts effort on to my shoulders and away from hers.

Many times I don’t like this. It makes me angry. It makes me tired … physically and emotionally.

It demands more of me. More discipline.

Her lack of discipline pushes me into further developing and practicing my own discipline.

It makes me spiritually stronger.

My strengthened discipline further feeds her lack of discipline. The more I can do the less she needs to.

We both know this. We experience friction because of it. We talk about it.

This is a movement we created together. It strengthens me and weakens her.

I don’t want to weaken her. I want her to be stronger. She wants to be stronger.

We are aware. We are together.

 

Posted in Expanding, inside | You are welcome to add your comment

There is a War

Again I find myself floating between two worlds – online and offline. Though my life is a rich mixture of the two, they are two almost distinct worlds with very little overlap between them. People who exist in one do not exist in the other. Important events that dominate one are at best marginal in the other.

As I write these words a war is raging online. I have come to view it as an important event because it will effect the lives of both worlds regardless of how ignorant of it the offline world may be. This war originated (as many wars seem to be these days) in the USA where the entertainment industry, under the guise of protecting itself from content piracy, is lobbying to pass legislation that will maim the Free Internet. These bills are known as SOPA & PIPA.

My attention came to focus on this issue at first via Fred Wilson and then via the WordPress News Blog. At first I filed this news in my “Problems of the western world I left behind” folder. It seemed in alignment with my overall impression that the USA is a messed up place and society and so I let it go at that. But then I realized that (a) the Internet, though dominated by USA culture, is a global & borderless phenomenon and (b) that regardless of how messed up the USA is, it is still a social/political/legislative role model for other countries – many follow its lead despite its poor, sometimes disastarous, consequences. This video (included in the above mentioned WordPress post) sums it up nicely:

The Free Internet has and continues to play a huge role in my life. I am in an ongoing process of re-educating myself and creating a new life. My school for all these things, except for a small library of books (all of which were discovered online), is the Free Internet where other like-hearted individuals can share their experiences and wisdom so that others, myself included, may benefit from it. As is often the case, I am both a consumer and contributor in this ecosystem.

Othen then its technical workings (computers, networks, software and regulations that make the Internet possible) there is no social or government in the Free Internet. I choose what to contribute to it and I choose what to consume from it.

Note: the same technical system that makes the Free Internet possible is also used by corportaions to make islands (some as large as continents) where this freedom is systemically revoked. These islands, much like the rules of governance to which they are subverted, are an inhibited form of freedom that is subverted to other, usually commercial purposes. I believe these areas of the Internet to be a dangerous illusion of freedom because (a) people do not recognize the illusions – they pay no taxes that remind them of the presence of a governing body and (b) that governing body is a corporate entity who’s interests and purpose are supportive of only those aspects of freedom that can be exploited and opposed to aspects of freedom that may inhibit exploitation. I strongly encourage participation in the Free Internet I vehemently discourage participation in its compromised-freedom-inhibiting areas.

So I am no longer indifferent to the war raging in the USA SOPA/PIPA debate. This post is an expression of my position. In case you are from my offline world then please note that my freedom to publish this post and yours to read it is an expression of the Freedom at stake. This is an example of what this war is about. The opposition in this war would have this post declared illegal and me a criminal if I were to, say, embed this video in it:

This post was published on January 17th, right before a blackout protest planned for tomorrow, January 18th. One prominent participant of this protest is Wikipedia and I am adding this link as a testament of the event. I thought to participate in this event but was initially put off by the technnical effort required for me to do so – had there been a plugin that provided a safe blackout and an explanation of the blackout I may have used it. But I don’t know of one.

So instead I’ve had an opportunity to contemplate my motivation to participate in the blackout and this is what came of it:

My last place of residence in Israel was in the north – in an area where Jewish and Arab villages are mixed and scattered. As a safety precaution the Jewish villages are surrounded by a fence with one or more guarded gates. When we would return to the village after midnight the gate would be closed and a guard would let us in. I found it amusing that in the Jewish state of Israel the Jews are fenced in (powerful historical reference) and the Arabs are roaming free. It is an ironical consequence of freedom.

I believe that there is a similar irony in blacking-out the Free Internet to protect it. I would like to see an opposite protest. I’d like to see the major forces, let’s call them (with some drama) Freedom Haters, who are supportive of the Free Internet use their inherent freedoms to black out those who would take away that freedom. I’d like to see Twitter and Facebook black-out companies and politicians who are outspoken Freedom Haters. I’d like Google to deny advertising rights to them. They deserve a place in legal terms-of-service, they are more lethal then spam or pornogoraphy. I’d like to see those  Freedom Haters, when their freedom has been denied, cornered into arguing for freedom.

For the record, I’d like to pre-empt an argument that one cannot inhibit freedom-of-expression to protect freedom-of-expression by (a) calling it out as faulty intellectual morality and (b) pointing out that that is EXACTLY what the opposition in this war is doing, it doesn’t make it right, but is does prove that one CAN do so – denying it is a dangerous misperception – the morality of the question can only be resolved by going back to purpose and motivation – doing so to inhibit freedom is wrong, doing it to protect freedom is right.

Posted in AltEco, outside, Tech Stuff | You are welcome to add your comment

Good Advice

What is Good Advice?

Anything that comes to me with an abrupt sense of clarity, emotional dispassion and a clear path of communication. Good advice comes to me suddenly and with a powerful urge to share. I don’t always immediately understand advice that appears to me. Understanding may come later from within me or as feedback from the person to whom my advice is offered, or never at all.

Advice I give feels to me like echoes from another person’s consciousness bouncing within my own consciousness. It isn’t so much something I have to offer but more of a reflection that passes through me of another.

When does Good Advice Appear?

When I have someone I care about in my mind and heart. Usually it comes when I am in a sense of space – as if floating just above reality – listening but not quite hearing. It can occur during a face to face conversation or long after. When it is delayed, I find myself preoccupied with the person in heart, almost as if that person was present with me.

When do I Give Advice?

When I am asked and if good advice is present. Then, either as soon as it appears or shortly after. Good advice is a subtle substance, it quickly fades and I am not motivated to hold on to it. It may reappear but that is out of my hands.

How do I Give Advice?

Dispassionately. I find that if I have any attachment to advice I give, it is less likely to be heard. My own attachments taint and distort an otherwise clear reflection.

With care. Good advice can penetrate deep. If it is handled with care it can be injurious. If I am unable to call upon care I refrain from offering advice.

Is Good Advice Received Well?

If it good, fresh, timely and properly delivered then Yes. I do not expect advice that comes through me to be embraced. Good advice, even though may ring true, isn’t necessarily pleasant to hear or comfortable to apply. Good advice needs time to penetrate and reverberate. A seed of good advice may sprout soon after, long after, in another lifetime or never.

Good advice is only mine to give. As it comes to me so it goes.

Posted in Expanding, inside, Quality | You are welcome to add your comment