“Paradox is a pointer telling you to look beyond it. If paradoxes bother you, that betrays your deep desire for absolutes.”
Frank Herbert

God Emperor of Dune

Shitafon

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2009_02_12_shitafon-1On thursday February 12, 2009 I participated in a performance called Shitafon (Flood in hebrew). This is a work that has been developing for some time between Shahar & Yael. I had known about it for some time and a few weeks ago they invited me to partake in the process. As part of the preparation for the planned performance we organized an early morning photo-session on the beach (very cold this wintery time of year!). We came back with some intense materials (the images from this session were transformed into a work that can be viewed at SweetClarity).

This image is from that morning session. I don’t know who encountered the long end of the stick – Yael who was drenched in cold sea water, or Shahar who drenched her?

2009_01_16_flood-49

The performance itself was a special occasion for me because this time I did not perform with a camera in hand. Instead I wrote a live text (something we tried briefly in the past) that was projected into the space (I was using a custom Flash application I had written specifically for the occasion). I also played Shakuhachi for Shahar – though I had toyed with the Shakuhachi once before in a performance – playing with Shahar an entire peace was an exciting first. Though I had my camera with me I had very little inclanation to use it as I was very much involved in the performance and the camera was a distraction (I am smiling as I write these words… wow what a journey).  The following image gives a small glimpse into the performance – and following it is the text that was born (the text in italic was invisible to the audience who only heard amplified keyboard clicks – the bold was visible). A second performance is planned for April – so keep your ears to the wall.

2009_02_12_shitafon-33

there was a small midget on the hill
he was overlooking a gray landscape (naturally)
he was searching but not really expecting to find
he was distant

it was an option nothing more
it wasn’t going to lead to anything
but it could not denied

green is a nice color, so is blue, gray is OK, the rest are the rest
it is not required reading, but it should be
the way the character pushes out against the obvious
leaves him lonely

his loneliness is a sanctuary, he sanctuary is cold
so he stands on a hill, overlooking, expecting
do you know where yo are?
do you want to know
is there a way to make it all come together?
is there a way to make it stop
you know its coming
and there is nothing you can do about it
you want it
you don’t want it
and then when it’s gone you wish it would start over again

is there any other way to do it
would you want it any other way ??

it’s finally here upon us
remembering myself is awkward
forgetting myself is even worst
and yet there is no two ways about it is there
everybody is finally here

hahaha
ha haha

remembering myself is an awkward thing
I don’t really want to
because if I do
I will also be gone
I still want to be here
at least for now

but ….

something is pushing at my side
it’s hands are cold… actually
one hand, the right one is cold
the other is warm
odd isn’t it?
its a strange sensation…
it’s as if its already here…
but part of it is still on the way…
I like the part that’s here…
I am not sure I want to meet the rest
I’m not sure I want it to stop
I’m not sure I want it to stay
hahaha
I’m sure I’m not sure

see what I mean?
bone chilling…. but kind of nice… no?
you know you want it…
it’s teasing….
but a part of you…
well… you know….
it creates a space
in it I can breathe
outside of it I can move….

do you know the small midget on top of the grey hill?
that stupid hat…
how many times have I told him…. don’t wear that stupid hat….
if you get caught in that…..
they will hurt you
and they will never go away….

and here we are again
its funny – you want to know what is happening…
but you can’t
how does it feel?
yes I am here
now you can see me….

you know that picture?
(by the way – I really don’t like pink)…
anyways…. that picture with the blue sky?
and that perfect cloud?
can you feel it already in your heart?
stupid…
its never really like that…
it’s just what it is…
you want it to be sexy… but it’s not …
you want it to be romantic… give me a break…
it’s just that… what it is….

that obvious presence you like to take for granted….
and then miss it when it’s gone
there is a deafening silence….
thats when you know… that when your body knows…
it’s coming….
you don’t want it to….
but … well.. admit it a part of you does…
could you forgive yourself if you missed it

you will never know it …
until it has gone….
then you will forget

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