“All of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout from the heart-perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example-but authenticity always and absolutely carries a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.”
Ken Wilber

Playing myself

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During my first year of Yoga practice I attended a weekly group class on Friday mornings. At one point I observed that my presence and quality of practice would be influenced by how my work week ended. If I was agitated on thursday night, my yoga practice would be agitated as well and I would be impatient. If I was relaxed then yoga practice would have flowing sensation – thing would seem to move and fall into place.

A few days ago I realized that my Shakuhachi playing had a nervous quality to it. Yesterday I listened to some recorded Shakuhachi music and this reinforced my observation. I felt that the music I was listening to was slow and patient, every note given time to become, many spaces between notes and a feeling of meditative flow. My playing over the past days is definitely of different qualities.

Playing Shakuhachi, alongside my recently resumed asana practice, is indeed revealing to me a quality of nervousness and agitation I have recognized and felt within me. I am greatful to have these tools available to me and I am know that recognition itself is a door opening to change and growth. I recognize an agitation within me, I recognize my hand in it and I look forward to experience it changing.

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