“It [Jazz] is an art that thrives on what it can do, not so much on what it does.”
Ben Ratliff

Coltrane - The Story of a Sound

I looked at the phone

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There is heaviness in the air today. I spend most of the day indoors. Lit the rocket stove for the first time.

Its afternoon … cook dinner or get on the mat? I don’t know.

I look at the phone. Walk outside to pee. Come back inside the phone rings.

It’s Andreea, away attending births.

A couple have canceled last minute. Not OK. Other births were refused, loss of income. It isn’t the first time.

We have come this far carried by my financial beliefs. Now we are being carried by hers.

She believes in soft. She is opening to abundance.

She thinks I am angry. I’m not. I’m frustrated. Is this how people value soft? Pretty expensive.

It isn’t easy letting go, stepping back, letting her step forward. I’m getting better … but need to get even better.

Anyways, I am left with a dose of frustration. Heaviness & frustration are not a good recipe to carry on to the mat. I am not ready for a practice.

So cooking dinner it is.

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