“All of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout from the heart-perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example-but authenticity always and absolutely carries a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.”
Ken Wilber

Conflict is Inside

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Shulamit has been gifting me with a pleasant cross-medium introduction and dialogue about Restorative Circles. I first wrote about it a few weeks ago and yesterday Shulamit left a comment on it with a link to two wonderful videos featuring Dominic Barter. I enjoyed and drew inspiration from both videos (this is the first I’ve seen and heard of Dominic) and I invite and urge you to view them – Dominic carries a wonderful message, softly delivered in a pleasant voice and manner:

I watched both videos yesterday and they were the last thing on my mind before falling asleep. My mind linked to two posts I wrote in the past. One is about a divine experience in working with dancers in which I learned to differentiate between pushing and violence. The other, written more recently, was written in response to another post on a similar theme, was an inquiry into the idea of friction (tapas) in the Yoga Sutra.

This morning Dominic’s words on “The System” continued to move through me. Particularly I was taken by Dominic’s story in the second video where he admits that he was naive and unable to follow through on his idea to give students an escape space in the classroom because he realized he wouldn’t be able to support the structure within the bigger “system” in which he was operating … to which one of the participants asked for clarification on what he meant by “the system” … which set me off on my own trajectory.

What Is “The System”?  (Inspired by Robert Pirsig)

There is in us an unrelenting creative instinct (a seeking that can be tempered but cannot be extinguished) – an aspiration for better – a kind of movement that took, for example, Dominic Barter from “Conflict Resolution” towards “Conflict Facilitation”. Occasionally this brings us into what Robert Pirsig calls an experience of Dynamic Quality – it lifts us up and out of existence as we know it. When this experience fades, and it always does, we are left with something else – what Pirsig calls an experience of Static Quality.

I have come to understand and believe that “The System” is a residue of experience. It is an accumulation of Static Quality that has been left behind by Dynamic experience. Some experiences are completely private,  other experiences are shared & experienced in intimate circles and some have been shared with many others – they are common experiences.

“The System” is an illusion that arises out of necessity. It is the least personal part of experience – it is a body of experiences that is shared with many others. It is so common that it can be mistakenly set aside and referred to as if it were an independent external living thing. Given enough time we can become convinced that it actually is an outside force – one that acts on us, one that controls us – when actually it is merely a static part of our perception – patterns that we like(d), solutions that we’ve solved (or were solved for us) and are comfortable with as is.

“The System” can be functional or dysfunctional (and that too can change over time). It paves roads, supplies water, grows crops, collects garbage, build schools – it accounts for most of what we call existence. One thing “The System” doesn’t do is question itself – it does not have a creative instinct. It’s center of gravity is stability not change. When it becomes dysfunctional we get angry at it – we demand that it change – and it never does. It can’t – there is no “it” – we’ve invented it, we give it life and we’re the only ones that can change it.

“The System” is inherently an experience of conflict – it is walls that both shield us from the elements and at the same time keep us from seeing what is outside and limit our movement. There are times when we draw comfort from being inside and times when we seek escape. It is a golden cage of our own making. It is a much-practiced balance like the one we achieve when first learning to walk and then take for granted as we move in the world throughout life (until walking becomes difficult again and less obvious and we can better appreciate it’s qualities).

What Does the “The System” Do? (Inspired by Patanjali)

My teacher has, over recent months, called my attention numerous times to two sutras – both of which I feel support an understanding of “The System”. Both translations and commentaries are from TKV Desikachar’s The Heart of Yoga.

Sutra 21:

“All that can be perceived has but one purpose, to be perceived.”

The purpose of all things, according to this sutra, is to be observed. “The System” too is there for observation. Hence my belief that Dominic’s Restorative Circles is first and foremost an introspective tool – albeit a social one. Dominic’s inspiration itself seems to be rooted first and foremost in his personal introspection and observations.

Sutra 22:

“Does this mean that without a perceiver the objects of perception do not exist?”

Desikachar’s commentary on it makes a connection I was looking for:

“The existence of all objects of perception and their appearance is independent of the needs of the individual perceiver. They exist without individual reference to cater for the different needs of different individuals. The needs of an individual may only be defined at a particular time. Some needs may be periodic or spasmodic and the needs of the individual cannot be considered more important in terms of quality and justification then those of another.”

The technical interpretation is that things exist regardless of whether or not you perceive them – they exist because one or more people need to observe them – though different people may see the same things in different ways – depending on their needs. When applied to “The System” this sutra comes into an interesting light – it is about shared perception – the things that make us into groups, be it families or societies. “The System”, seen in this light is a social meditation – a Yama practice – it isn’t so much about fixing it or resolving it but rather seeing it for what it is.

What is Restored?

Personal aspirations for a better life are an internal conflict – they demand that we abandon something tried and true for something potentially better. Change always requires that we surrender something to make room for something new. The comforts of the old and the doubts about the new can be an obstacle in embracing change – so we put it off, we wait for “the right time” … which is fine until we break or someone else in our social circles notices what’s going on and demands change. When the demands are ignored or rejected they become louder and louder until they are eventually addressed.

Years ago I applied to join an organization that ran hot-line services for psychological support in Israel. I was accepted and went through a training period. During this period we learned that the organization acts as a social interface for “mentally disturbed” people (who at the time accounted for 85% of the calls – many of them from regular callers). Part of the training was to establish a clear relationship – who is helping who – who is well and who is ill – all while flying colorful flags of openness, acceptance and embrace. I objected to the dogmatic perspective – but I made it through the course. I had a great time doing my shifts – talking to “crazy” people was relaxing – almost a meditative experience. The organization then decided to have monthly meetings to “support us volunteers” and make sure we were holding up ok … and not losing sight of who is ill and who is well. I refused to partake in these meetings and was shortly after dismissed. Ironically, a couple of months ago they called me (not personally – they were probably going systemically through the phonebook) to ask for donations because the organization is in financial distress.

When I first learned and read about Restorative Circles it gave rise to a similar image in my mind. My understanding was that Restorative Circles was training people to facilitate “Restorative Circles” in their communities – a structure that again seemed to reflect a power structure between “those that know how to restore” and “those that need restoration”. It may have been a preconception or misunderstanding on my part – I still don’t know enough about it to make a better assessment. But from the two videos above it seems to me that the people in attendance are there for themselves – restoring their own clarity, refining their own perspective, extending their tools of introspection. That I get and applaud 🙂

On a personal note – I am writing these words 2 weeks before moving to Romania to make a home. I was introduced to and been observing Restorative Circles in a time of transition and change. I am moving away from Israel with a feeling that I failed at making a connection with the (static) society in which I have lived most of my (dynamic) life. There used to be a popular cliche in Israeli politics (maybe there still is but I have no idea what is going on in Israeli politics) about the Palestinians that “we (Israel) don’t have a partner (Palestinians) for dialogue”. I am leaving feeling the same way about Israel itself. I occasionally still wonder if there was something I missed, something I could have done – was there a restorative circle I could have joined or created? Maybe from a distance I will be able to see what I couldn’t see from up close?

“If you don’t like our present social system or intellectual system the best thing you can do … is stay out of their way.”

Robert Pirsig

When this post was completed I came across this video which tells more about Restorative Circles. I do feel that whatever was born in Brazil will probably need to go through some kind of transformation / adapatation to more modern western settings. I have a feeling that better is more obvious when you live in a shantitown with an open sewer then it is when you live in a home with food, water and electricity and you live in an illusion of western abundance. Though I do agree that the core of knowledge is already present in everyone, I feel that it is, in the modern west, hidden beneath more layers and distractions.

Posted in Expanding, inside, Yoga, Yoga & Life | You are welcome to read 1 comment and to add yours

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-10-24

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  • @zenpeacekeeper it may have been me 🙂 re: sidebar #
  • @zenpeacekeeper u r welcome to contact me via email iamronen [at] iamronen [dot] com – easier to communicate that way 🙂 in reply to zenpeacekeeper #
  • @fredwilson thinking about the Who To Follow recommendations I don't even want to see … plenty of noise in that non action! in reply to fredwilson #
  • burning paper is (again) not as easy as I imagined it to be … purifying my consciousness of so much clutter #
  • @JudithYoga I doubt compassion is democratic, democracy is so mediocre, compassion is so much better then that 🙂 in reply to JudithYoga #
  • Wonderful, refreshing, poignant album – Peacemaker by Albert Beger: http://bit.ly/9gxPPA #
  • I showed this to someone today, so I thought I'd show you too – true love will find you in the end: http://bit.ly/aAuAVc #

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Dismantling Ubuntu RAID Array

n

It was just over two years ago that I setup a home-made RAID storage server with 2.2 Terabytes of storage using Ubuntu. Now as we prepare to leave for Romania, the RAID has come to an end – and the accumulated data (~1TB) is being offloaded to a new laptop computer and some external hard drives.

Software RAID Works

This gave me an opportunity to test how the RAID would perform under faulty conditions – as if one of the hard drives failed. I first tried to remove one of the drives from the array in a legitimate way – but that didn’t seem to work – I got some error message about the device being busy (even though it was unmounted). So I opened up the chassis and pulled up one of the drives. I turned the computer back on and sure enough the RAID array was still working. It was in a “degraded” mode – meaning that if another hard drive would fail – the RAID array would fail and data would be lost. But sure enough, if one hard drive were to fail it would be very easy to pull it out and replace it with another hard drive (even if it took some time to acquire a new hard drive).

So if you have large volumes of data that you want to keep safe, software RAID on Ubuntu is an excellent solution for you. I was much more at ease knowing my data was on a RAID array instead of being on a single hard-drive that may fail and take all of my information with it. At the time I built my array 750GB drives were considered large – today there are much larger capacity drives you could use to create an even bigger capacity. All you need is to be a little picky with hardware that will let you pool together a number of drives and  you are set.

Easier & Easy To Install

When I setup the array I had to learn to use some command line tools to get the job done. Over the last 2 years Ubuntu has matured greatly and it now has a graphic software utility that lets  you create & manage a software RAID with ease – much easier then it was two years ago.

Here you can see the main screen of the disk utility – with the RAID device selected. You may notice the red”DEGRADED” indicator which was displayed after I removed one of the 4 hard drives from the array.

Here you can see the 3 remaining hard drives with very easy to use options for extending the array size and adding a spare drive. The option for removing a component didn’t work for me – but the drive was automatically removed from the array once I physically removed it.

And this is what the create array screen looks like after I dismantled my array. You can see that the 3 remaining drives are available and can be selected and created into a new Array. This saves a lot of hassle that was required 2 years ago to create the array using command line utilities.

Ubuntu

Over the last two years Ubuntu has become my primary operating system. The computer that was meant to be my storage server became my primary computer and I slowly shifted to using all open-source tools on Ubuntu. I am writing this post from a new laptop computer (more on that in a coming soon post) which was installed from day one with Ubuntu. I am thrilled to be free from the clutches of Microsoft and other commercial software manufacturers. Freedom feels great.

Posted in Open Source, outside, Tech Stuff | You are welcome to read 1 comment and to add yours

9 to 5

n

The days are rolling by quickly. By this time next week we will have left our house to be at my parents place until we fly to Romania on November 8th. Yesterday was a major milestone when a first truck left with a lot of our things to a friend who purchased some of our things. Amongst the things that went on the truck are 9 boxes containing 165kg of our possessions – mostly books – that will be shipped to Romania (my friend will ship them to us once we have an address). That together with 3 suitcases and some hand luggage is all that remains of our possessions. Everything else was sold or given.

Selling our things was an awkward experience. We had originally planned to send a larger shipment by sea, but it was prohibitively expensive. Most of our things are functional and valuable to us but not expensive. After some checking we realized we would be better off purchasing the basic things we need in Romania rather then shipping them from Israel. So we ended up selling lots of stuff – almost everything. There is an unpleasant side to it when we realized that the things that were so useful and valuable to us translate into a few thousand dollars- the monetary value has very little correlation to their true value. Fortunately most of our stuff went to people who will benefit from it greatly – which left us feeling good – knowing that not just our possessions but our values are carrying on as well.

Every time something left our house it left us with mixed emotions – there was apparent attachment which was left hanging – and then there was a refreshing feeling, an empty space which is now available for new things, possessions, values and experiences. Every movement was/is a reminder that the day of our departure is nearing – an idea is becoming a reality, a wish is coming true in unexpected ways (as has been my experience with wishes).

Many small things are happening for the last time – many small endings. It’s funny how poignant they are when they occur and yet I am having a hard time recalling them now. There are so many small and obvious things in life that go unnoticed – until they are projected against a sensitive screen – this time an ending screen –  where they  light up like fireworks – and disappear … forever. I suppose that every moment is like that – they are so just more noticeable now. They shimmer – they demand attention, a final recognition.

In the midst of this transition death visited our family. It was my first conscious and rather intimate meeting with death. It was a prolonged decay due to cancer – so it was a journey – not just a sudden event. Death gifted me with a few magical moments – it confirmed the futility of my wonderful existence. It strengthened me – it was a shining and bright indicator that I am on my path and it patted me on the back and said “carry on, stay true”. It was pure.

Living these past few weeks (and quite a few weeks to come) is a practice. There has been too much movement, mess and dirt for me to engage my practices. On a few mornings I was blessed with some Shakuhachi playing which feels in tune. I am pleased with the way I and we have moved through this period. We have been moving forward steadily, there seem to me a millions things to do, many of them emotionally draining. We are quick to recognize when we are full and when we are empty. We are sensitive to ourselves and to each other. We are able to work independently and together. We are able to sense friction and disengage peacefully. We know when to rest. We know what needs to be done. We know how to face the things we don’t know – and we have the facilities to wait them out. Most things have worked out smoothly and easily for us.

We are confident and we are vital. I remember a few times when I was preparing for travel – I got excited, I was able to stay vital, I wasn’t bothered by late-night / early morning flights – I stayed awake for two days straight. Well we’ve been like that for over 3 weeks. We wake up and arise early in the morning, we take our time, enjoy a few quiet hours together and then get on with our days. We sleep 9 to 5 🙂

Posted in Expanding, inside | You are welcome to add your comment

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-10-17

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  • @zenpeacekeeper True, Yoga can make you a better <whateveritisyoudo>, but there is real magic in the other way around http://bit.ly/cgfXGu in reply to zenpeacekeeper #
  • separation leads to integration leads to separation leads to integration leads to separation … #
  • @zenpeacekeeper I looked at ur WordPress and it seems the theme has some errors … I’d be happy to try and fix it for you in reply to zenpeacekeeper #
  • @HarMichele what do you mean by progress? in reply to HarMichele #
  • Meditate to see where you are now rather then pretending you are somewhere else #
  • I found today’s Shakuhachi recording to be surprisingly smoothing http://bit.ly/adOt4Z #
  • @HarMichele Today I would say progress is about subtlety on the mat and peace in the face of change off the mat 🙂 in reply to HarMichele #
  • @zenpeacekeeper imagesize may make it go away, but there’s some comrpomised HTML in there which should fixed … to avoid future pains in reply to zenpeacekeeper #
  • we are in a bardo, our old life has died, and we will be flying 2 begin our new reborn life in Romania on Nov8 #
  • give it a minute and it will give you a wonderful lesson: http://bit.ly/bGTa7S #
  • @DominicMiller1 thank u! you may want to have a look/listen at/to this: http://bit.ly/c89Y4u in reply to DominicMiller1 #
  • a relative is dying of cancer, thinking of her, trying 2 “remember” her made me question what memory is … then time seemed to slow down #
  • how to add OGG (the free and open-standard alternative to MP3 file format) audio files to WordPress: http://bit.ly/apKeiC #
  • I like having my one special cup, I don’t like it when other people drink from it #
  • This morning’s Shakuhachi playing was to my aunt who’s soul departed as the air was flowing through the flute #
  • I offer it as a beacon so that two beautiful souls can find each other again in the endless ether #
  • this is my first intimate, conscious, knowing, involved, raw meeting with death … intense and soft #
  • I am so greatful for an elated stability that supports me when so many things around me are shifting and changing #
  • There is fear and sadness, and elation and joy, I can see the different qualities coming together to create what I know to be me #
  • I can feel the roots of the trees on the hill across the valley through the toes of my feet #
  • I can sense the entire sky in my lungs #
  • I can feel a moving car pulling at my center #
  • Everything is present with me in it #
  • I know that I will grow and that I will die #
  • There is no alone and there is no together #
  • I am coming together again … I’ve been attacked and I’ve survived #
  • it’s so infinite #
  • I know exactly what it is I invest my time in, I just can’t express to you what it is #
  • and there is MY coffee in MY cup … ha #
  • @mollydotcom thank u 🙂 whatever it is that we are, it can’t be contained in 140 characters 🙂 in reply to mollydotcom #
  • I know I’m repeating myself, but … purpose http://bit.ly/cFx0XD #

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