“I make but a simple statement of fact when I say that for years I was like on bound hand and foot to a log racing madly on a torrent, saved miraculously time after time from dashing to death against the many boulders projecting out of the swirling water on every side by just a narrow margin and in the nick of time, turning and twisting this way and that, as if guided by a marvelously quick and dexterous hand infallibly correct in its movement … At times I felt Instinctively that a life and death struggle was going on inside me in which I, the owner of the body, was entirely powerless to take part, forced to lie quietly and watch as a spectator the weird drama unfolded in my own flesh.”
Gopi Krishna

Kundalini – The Evolutionary Energy in Man

What is there now?

n

Here I am, writing instead of practicing… writing as a practice…

In the book “Cave in the SnowTenzin Palmo (I don’t have the book with me to offer a precise quote) says that you shouldn’t be on the mat unless you are present on the mat. Preoccupations prevent us from being present. The mat is special, it’s a space dedicated to a practice of presence. So if you’re not there – you may as well be somewhere else.

My days that begin with a Yoga practice are different then days that don’t – they are better.  In a similar way, the first asana of a Yoga practice affects the rest of the practice.  Tonight I chose to not get on the mat. The first “asana” in my practice is choice. I did not want to get on the mat. Recognition of that choice triggered an internal dialogue – second guessing myself with a diversity of less & more convincing arguments.

The original choice remained… and I chose to act on it. I feel that had I gone on the mat I would not have been present on it – and the practice would have distracted and agitating – I have tried this many times in the past.

I am now present – writing this with a movie playing in the background. I am present with  my impatience, self doubt & disturbed-energy. Getting on the mat would have been an attempt to escape from this – it probably would have failed. Instead I am:

  1. Doing what I felt like doing – sinking towards sleep with the help of a movie.
  2. Doing something I didn’t expect to do – writing this post.
  3. Looking forward to a fresh morning practice.
  4. Thinking back on the day, trying to see if there is something I would like to try doing differently tomorrow.
  5. … and awaiting an unplanned visit of a friend seeking help with neck pains.

On the mat, off the mat … in the end it all comes together… nicely!

This entry was posted in Yoga, Yoga & I. You are welcome to read 1 comment and to add yours