“One day I found out that personal history was no longer necessary for me and, like drinking, I dropped it… Little by little you must create a fog around yourself; you must erase everything around you until nothing can be taken for granted, until nothing is any longer for sure, or real. Your problem now is that you’re too real. Your endeavors are too real, your moods are too real. Don’t take things so for granted. You must begin to erase yourself.”
Carlos Castaneda

Journey to Ixtlan

Fuck You Israel


I don’t usually vent fresh emotional energy – this time I am.

To put this all in perspective, for me and for you, I have just taken a sip of wonderful wine that we purchased today. We purchased 5 liters from a local villager who makes it. It is a fresh batch from this years grapes. We tasted the freshly squeezed juice from the grapes a few months ago – he lives right next to the post office and invited us in to taste. You need to bring your own bottles … we didn’t … but we had in the car an empty 5 liter water plastic bottle … so he filled that up for us and we divided it into smaller bottles at home. It is the best Romanian wine I have tasted. Most of the commercial stuff is pure crap – filled with sulphates which leave a horrible after-taste. The wine cost us 8 lei per liter which is less then 2 euros.

I write this post impulsively but not lightly. I have been abused by the society that calls itself Israel for many years – it goes beyond my personal opinion or feelings. Most people, including, Israelis will agree that what I have suffered is abuse. For background my relationship with Israel you are welcome to read these posts:

  1. Personal Terrorism in The Next 9/11?
  2. How FEM Happened – Faith & Fear (scroll down to “Personal”)
  3. Enemy
  4. A Political Headstand
  5. The Non-Jewish Jew
  6. Nationality
  7. Country
  8. Brutal Honesty
  9. Spreading Destruction

Suffice to say that being a native born Israeli and spending most of my adult life there and making diverse efforts to partake in life there – I failed to do so. So 15 months ago we decided to leave Israel and 13 months ago we left to Romania with one way tickets where we now live in a quiet corner of a village. We haven’t looked back since, haven’t visited Israel, and whenever I do think of Israel waves of violent and negative emotions surface. We are very happy both being here and not being there.

We made an effort to close all open-issues behind us. One of them was a small debt to social security. Social Security, as most Israeli business or independent worker who have dealing with them, will attest to, is a lame and difficult organization. Regardless of the small debt which I intended to and left unpaid (for just cause see Personal Terrorism listed above), I notified the authorities that we were leaving the country, were renouncing all social services to which we have a right to if we continue to pay for them and that we were not going to make any more payments. Many months later our accountant notified us that despite the fact that they knew our status (and had revoked our residency status) they continued to build up a debt. I ignored them. I had enough of dealing with the state and was no longer there because I wasn’t interested in any more dealings with it. I had very little money left behind in a bank account and no assets left behind so I didn’t worry about them seeking to collect on the debt.

A couple of days ago I emailed my father. I remembered that many years ago he made me and my two sisters partners in my parents bank account. I wrote him and asked him to cancel my partnership so that in the future the state could not try to collect my debt through him. As I wrote to my father I realized that again, despite my distance from it, the state was still acting through Personal Terrorism. My intuition was dead on but came to late as today my parents were notified by the bank that social security had decreed a foreclosure on the sum of my debt in their bank account. Mind you this is all legal!

I am angry. It will pass. First I am angry at myself for not seeing this sooner. But then I am angry at the country that simply won’t let go. I have been taxed by the state of Israel emotionally, spiritually, financially … I got it, I left … but the violent hold of the country is incessant. I will resolve this quickly. I surely did not intend to bring on such frustration to my parents and I have no intention of carrying it around with me. I will probably have to settle the debt somehow (just the thought of dealing with their most likely incorrect calculations gives me shivers). Then I will close my bank account, remove myself from my parents bank account and continue to distance myself from the country in every possible way.

Andreea and I were just speaking about this and she confided in me that one of the reasons she wanted to leave Israel was so that our kids would not have to serve in the army. I replied that I had no intentions of letting our kids serve in the army … then realized that I would have probably had to fight violently to prevent the country from confiscating my children (which is also all legal!). Now we have agreed that we will refrain from even registering our kids as Israeli citizens UNLESS  we can EXPLOIT that somehow.

My only remaining connections to Israel are a small group of family and friends who still make a life there. I fear for them. I would be happy and relieved if they left. In my mind and heart Israeli is an ill society. Despite all the external threats (neighboring enemy countries), it is, I believe, much more threatened from within.

In my gut there is hatred for Israel. In my heart there is sadness. In my mind there is relief.

When I started writing this post I was filled with “Fuck You Israel”. It is fading, mostly because I am far away. I am drinking fantastic home made wine. Sitting in a room warmed by a stove I built with my own hands, sitting on a bed I built with my own hands, next to a woman with whom I share a profoundly deep spiritual connection, in the middle of 94,000 square meters of land of which we are in charge, which, in the morning, will most probably be covered in a beautiful white blanket of fresh snow. So now, with more peace in my heart and less anger in my voice and a smile on my face I can say “Fuck You Israel”. Tomorrow after hours of sanding the last pieces of furniture overlooking a beautiful white landscape I will forget about it.

… and we will definitely get much more of this excellent wine!

This entry was posted in Expanding, inside, Israel. You are welcome to read 4 comments and to add yours


  1. Peti
    Posted October 11, 2012 at 4:43 am | Permalink

    almost a year after you wrote this; I read you a lot, but this posting resonates with me on some level, I will go ahead with an “I feel you”. Kudos to you and your half for the courage and the accomplishments so far. Also, one more important thing, I envy you for that homemade wine.
    PS. We also plan on a move from a suffocating nonsense society to an as much as possible self-sufficiency.

  2. Israel
    Posted October 24, 2013 at 11:56 am | Permalink

    Fuck you, Ronen.

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  • By When Society Attacks - iamronen on October 21, 2012 at 11:24 am

    […] that was his name, is quickly going to fade away … just another casualty of a messed up society. And the girl … I can’t imagine what she must be dealing with […]

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