Can’t make this shit up, fortunately you don’t need to … somebody else has done the work for you. The UK has found a solution to deal with pushback against austerity:
“Chief constables are shortly to press the home secretary, Theresa May, to authorise the use of water cannon by any police force across England and Wales to deal with anticipated street protests.
The Association of Chief Police Officers says that the need to control continued protests “from ongoing and potential future austerity measures” justifies the introduction of water cannon across Britain for the first time.”
enter from stage right the Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000 water canon
“The Acpo report reveals that the model of water cannon most likely to be used, the Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000, can get through its 9,000 litres in just five minutes if it is running at full pressure, although it adds that operating for this length of time would be difficult to justify in terms of use of force.”
But it will be used in a humane way:
“… the water within the water cannon tank will have to kept at 5C to “prevent the onset of medical conditions associated with the shock of being exposed to cold water”.”
and its a good financial investment
“A new water cannon costs between £600,000 and £1m depending on its specification and lasts for 25 to 30 years … any water cannon bought by a force will be regarded as a national asset.”
and very versatile
“The police envisage using their water cannon to “exert control from a distance and critically to provide a graduated and flexible application of force ranging from spray to forceful water jets.”
bring on austerity, we have water canons.