Category: Myself
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Born to fight
Michael was overjoyed to see him. No one had known exactly where Isaac was, or if he was going to make it back. Other young men from the kibbutz had been arriving and disappearing into the war, and it seemed there were questions being asked about the ones who still hadn’t shown up. Maybe not…
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Who By Fire – Leonard Cohen, Israel … and I
I’ve been distantly aware that Leonard Cohen visited Israel during the 1973 Yom Kippur war and sang for soldiers in the desert. So I went into this podcast episode about this event with a sense of curiosity. The story is told with care and subtlety and I look forward to reading the book. My curiosity…
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Aphantasia?
This came to me via Bonnitta Roy: When I shared this with Sunni she asked me if I feel I have this … and this was my answer: I am not sure that “it” is really a thing. I do not trust the dichotomies of “it-ness” that mechanistic thinking likes to assume and impose. I…
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Choking on my past?
I wrote this partial post back in mid-January 2021. When I started it I had a feeling I may never finish it, and indeed I haven’t. Shortly after aborting it I did write a letter to my family on the same subject. But this post stayed with me. I have no desire to resume writing…
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Lonely is Better
I have been in Israel for a few days and will be here for a few more. I came because my father injured his spine, went through surgery and is now embarking on a journey of recovery. I came to offer what help and support I can. Before coming here I was in a long…
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Dear Sweet Child of Mine
There’s a mulberry tree here at Bhudeva It has taught me both abundance and harshness There have been years during which it overflowed with sweet fruit There have been years during which young fruits were met with an early harsh frost that with one cold breath consumed the promise of sweetness of the year I…
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My Father, in body for 70 Years
and, turs out his original Hungrian name Gyurika means farmer … I thought I was born to an engineer, turns out I was born to a “tsaran” – a peasant – a man of the earth
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My Conception, Birth and Early Life
I recently asked my parents to tell me about how I came into this world and this is what they were able to recall. How this came to be and the reason for doing this will appear in followup posts. Conception My mother (freshly married to my father) visited with a friend (another woman) who…
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Summer 2016 Allergy continued: disturbanced, sleep, tick
After the first few days there was a drop in my sense of well-being. An initial blow came when I allowed a disturbance to take places – a visit to the city. I came back feeling tired, with a slight head-ache and agitation. The next day I was somewhat contained, I was able to get…
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Breath and Allergy – Spring 2016
A few days ago allergy symptoms started to appear and have been gradually increasing. A itchiness in my throat, eyes … and sometimes sneezing sequences. This morning, for the first time this season, I had to get out of bed at 5:45 to move myself into a vertical position (lying down aggravates the symptoms) and…
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Sending Women Away
I am writing this primarily with Annelieke in heart and mind. I talked to Andreea today. I was curious to hear about the Fairy Godmothers weekend. She was curious to hear about Portugal. During the last part of the conversation Andreea brought up the subject of my relationship with Annelieke and my relationships in general.…
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Summer 2015 continues Off and On the Yoga Mat
I arrived with a steady and evolving on-the-mat practice. It came to a sudden stop when a spring allergy suddenly kicked in. It took most of July for me to settle back into a practice … and then a lower back problem started. It felt like a muscular pain in my left-lower back … so…
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Spring Allergy
Since being in Romania I’ve been dealing every year with an almost month-long period of allergy. When nature comes into abundance (and the air is filled with pollen) my body responds with disproportionate self-defense. I use faith, curiosity and loads of patience to deal with it, no medication. I am trying to signal to my…
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Retreat Manifested
Years ago, for some years I had an escapist wish … to retreat from life. Andreea Andreea lives in Cluj and is immersed in a life she is creating there on her own. While her intentions, which I experience as sincere, are to be a part of Bhudeva, her actions put her somewhere else. So…