“A hunter that is worth his salt does not catch game because he sets his traps, or because he knows the hunting routines of his prey, but because he himself has no routines. This is his advantage. He is not at all like the animals he is after, fixed by heavy routines and predictable quirks; he is free, fluid, unpredictable.”
Carlos Castaneda

Journey to Ixtlan

Heredity & Morphic Resonance


Rupert Sheldrake on the limitations of the materialistic and mechanistic view of genetics and potential place for morphic resonance:

“… So heredity includes both the genetic inheritance of proteins and morphic resonance from similar past forms.

Consider the following analogy. The music that comes out of the loudspeaker of a radio set depends both on the material structures of the set and the energy which powers it and on the transmission to which the set is tuned … Someone who knew nothing about the transmission of invisible, intangible and inaudible vibrations through the electromagnetic field might conclude that it could be explained entirely in terms of the components of the radio, the way in which they were arranged, and the energy on which their functioning depended. If he ever considered the possibility that anything entered from outside, he would dismiss it when he discovered that the set weighed the same switched on and switched off. He would therefore have to suppose that the rhythmic and harmonic patterns of the music arose within the set as a result of immensely complicated interactions among its parts. After careful study and analysis of the set, he might even be able to make a replica of it that produced exactly the same sounds as the original, and would probably regard this result as a striking proof of his theory. But in spite of his achievement, he would remain completely unaware that in reality the music originated in a broadcasting studio hundreds of miles away.”

from A New Science of Life

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Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000


Can’t make this shit up, fortunately you don’t need to … somebody else has done the work for you. The UK has found a solution to deal with pushback against austerity:

“Chief constables are shortly to press the home secretary, Theresa May, to authorise the use of water cannon by any police force across England and Wales to deal with anticipated street protests.

The Association of Chief Police Officers says that the need to control continued protests “from ongoing and potential future austerity measures” justifies the introduction of water cannon across Britain for the first time.”

enter from stage right the Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000 water canon

“The Acpo report reveals that the model of water cannon most likely to be used, the Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000, can get through its 9,000 litres in just five minutes if it is running at full pressure, although it adds that operating for this length of time would be difficult to justify in terms of use of force.”

But it will be used in a humane way:

“… the water within the water cannon tank will have to kept at 5C to “prevent the onset of medical conditions associated with the shock of being exposed to cold water”.”

and its a good financial investment

“A new water cannon costs between £600,000 and £1m depending on its specification and lasts for 25 to 30 years … any water cannon bought by a force will be regarded as a national asset.”

and very versatile

“The police envisage using their water cannon to “exert control from a distance and critically to provide a graduated and flexible application of force ranging from spray to forceful water jets.”

bring on austerity, we have water canons.

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Charles Eisenstein on Profit … kinda


In this article Charles Eisenstein speaks abouta relatioship between current business norms and ecological sustainability. I read into something that I’ve been thinking and saying for some time: I see a future where for-financial-profit incorporations are … well … a thing of the past. There are plenty of other profits to be made … but money (within our current money system) cannot continue to be  a profit-indicator.

“Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, the interests of profit blatantly conflict with the interests of people and planet …

By appealing to the business case for sustainability, we limit green practices to the very narrow subset that involve little cost, little risk, and little disruption to business as usual …

Let’s stop pretending. If your company is going to make a significant step toward sustainability, it probably won’t make business sense, at least not in any way that can be predicted or quantified. You will have to trust something other than the numbers …

To take this next step always requires at least a little courage, because it goes against familiar practice and predictable financial self-interest. Someday, hopefully soon, we must change the business environment to end the opposition between profit and ecological well-being … There will always be a next step that doesn’t make sense by the numbers.

Herein lies a very different sort of “business case” for sustainability. It comes from questions like, “Who are you, really?” “What do you care about?” and, “What do you serve?” From a deep consideration of such questions, courage is born.

The other business case, the one based on profit, is just a tactical device … “

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Sympathy vs. Empathy

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Where I am – Two Songs


Both by the beautiful people of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. The raw honesty of Life Is Hard and soft hopefulness of Better Days:

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short version: question your motivations and actions; do what you need to do and avoid doing what others need to do; how can you tell the difference? when your actions are yours you will experience a sustained feeling of peace and satisfaction; a teacher can be very helpful on this path.

“What should motivate people to act?

Svadharma. Dharma is that which protects, holds up and elevates. In the upholding of dharma, every person has a role to play. Each of us, have responsibilities. It is necessary to be clear about what each responsibility entails, and do one’s best to discharge it. It is also necessary to be clear about the limits of this responsibility and not interfere in or worry about things that fall within the orbit of another’s responsibility. This is svadharma.

Svadharma must be done with Sraddha. Sraddha in the rightness of the action performed. There is then no other option and so the person never gives up and thereby he definitely reaches the goal.

While it is svadharma that should motivate people to act, this action should not be with the attitude of aham [I am the doer] or mama [it is for me]. To keep the mind free from these negative attitudes it is necessary that the svadharma is done with the attitude of isvara pranidhana. Isvara pranidhana is the acceptance of a higher force.

The problem often is that we are unable to identify our svadharma. Very few people even question themselves to ask if they are doing the right thing. When what motivates is not svadharnta but raga, then you have the attitudes of expectation and disappointment and this results in stress.

What is the means by which one can know one’s svadharma?

Atmatusti. The feeling of peace and profound satisfaction that results from the performance of the action, even long after the action is performed. Those fortunate to have an acarya [teacher] to guide them, will of course know their svadharma from their acarya.”

source: my teacher

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Bitoin (un)Reality Check


If you are a spectator watching the so called Bitcoin Bubble expand then this is for you – a Bitcoin FAQ:

“1) Should I buy Bitcoins?


9) Wait, does that mean that every advantage that people claim Bitcoin has is not actually true?

Yes. It’s not anonymous, it’s not free, it’s not instant, and it’s not convenient. It’s extremely difficult to make money on it, mining is useless, and it’s literally impossible that it will ever go into widespread use. Unless you have an ideological stake in the concept of Bitcoin (or want to buy drugs and/or child porn), there is literally no reason to get involved in it.

There’s actually one thing that Bitcoin supporters claim about Bitcoin which is true: it has no chargebacks. Bitcoin transactions are irreversible. Whether this is actually an advantage or not probably depends on whether you’ve ever been ripped off before. If you haven’t, then getting involved in Bitcoin is probably a good way to fix that.”

I think that the main “error” in this document is that is falls prey to the general misconception that Bitcoin is indeed a currency. Which it isn’t … or if you insist it is then know this … currency is its weakest feature (a corrupt side-effect). Describing Bitcoin as a currency is like describing … oh I don’t know … lets just pick something fancy … a Jaguar XJR SWB by focusing on its cup holder. Currency just happens to be an issue of our times and the whole “coin” thing in the name can be misleading. It is a remarkable techological experiment of mathematics and software engineering. Parts of it have already been adopted and used for other experiments in other currencies and other fields … and that is very likely to continue … because that’s the good thing about it.

If only non-tech people had any clue how arbitrary the real world can be perceived by tech people …


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Margrit Kennedy – Inavoidable Debt


Before watching this short video I had a naive thought that I, having moved out of mainstream society (without incurring debt) have evaded the horrific debt machine. This video, though gentle, tore through my naivety.

Since most of the world is indebted (by definition and by design) most of the things we purchase also carry debt with them. If, for example, you shop at a business that was established with loans and mortgages then the prices you pay for their products and services include the costs of those debts. According to the video, about 40% of the prices we pay is to cover debt and not actual products/services or their underlying values (materials, work, skills, etc.).

Since I am a very poor consumer this is still a lesser part in my life … but still … astonishing.

Margrit Kennedy on Interest Free Economy from Complementary Currency on Vimeo.

via CCMagazine

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In this post where I reflected on memory I quoted (at the end) an idea that spoke of snowflakes being unique in representing a “memory” of their unique hour long journey down to earth.

Then, recently, I came across this guy who does snowflake photography. What follows are just a few images check out his post on technique and images for much more:

 … left me wondering how much our physical shapes and structures are also devices of memory?

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Boulder Colorado Going off the Grid


Dis-integration and re-integration … cycle of evolution.

“In a ground-breaking move in November, voters in Boulder, Colo., approved an initiative to end their relationship with Xcel Energy, a utility with $10.7 billion in revenues, thus clearing the way for the city to form its own municipal utility that would lower rates and make greater use of renewable energy …

Municipal utilities are far more common than most people are aware, with more than 1,000 already functioning in the United States, serving 50 million customers

Not only is this a substantial and refreshing change but it seems to be benefiting from a supporting feedback loop:

“All of this comes at a time when the entire model of a corporate utility operating a centralized grid is facing steady erosion. Universities and cities across the country are expressing their desire to move away from both hiring—or even owning stocks in—companies that remain committed to fossil fuels. In addition, every family who installs solar on their roof not only slashes their need for energy from a utility, but also cuts the revenue for those same firms.

As the number of customers inexorably drops, the firm must spread its costs across a smaller and smaller number of customers, which increases their rates and creates even more demand to leave the grid.

from YesMagazine via David Korten


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How Bitcoin Works


Following the passionate podcast comes an excellent technical yet accesible description of how Bitcoin works came to me also via Pietro.

It, together with the podcast, outlines the underlying potentials of Bitcoin as a technology (rather then as a currency) … and I have questions:

  1. Would it be correct to describe Bitoin as a publicly created, owned, verified and secured record of … anything!?
  2. Isn’t the block-chain an inevitable challenge in term of data-storage (it will continue to grow and grow, especially as more complex applications are bundled into transactions?)
  3. Is it correct that the source of any inherit valuation in Bitcoin results from the assumption that mining needs to be rewarded?
  4. If there were other incentives to mining would it be possible to use Bitcoin as a public ledger without any inherent valuation and their ensuing “currency” symptoms? Could Bitcoin become BitPublicLedger without any “coin” association?
  5. If so, could, theoretically, another valuation/currency system (other than rewards for mining) be attached to Bitcoin to benefit from its other capabilies (secure, verified, public, etc.)? In other words, could BitPublicLedger be used to digitize and secure other kinds of currency?
  6. Can a current Bitcoin transaction have zero value associated with it – that is using the system to submit information to the public ledger without valuation exchange?


  1. If “reward” incentive is removed from the mining operation couldn’t it be made more efficient and more green? couldn’t mining become collaborative instead of competitive? for example, if I were part of a community (physical or virtual) where bitcoin provided service – I would happily have a client software running on my computer in service of a miner – contributing my resources to the exitence of the bitcoin commons in my community.
  2. Could Bitcoin technology become a kind of social digital commons? Can a sustainable business be built around that concept?
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Oligarchy of Programmers?


A twitter interaction with Pietro led to him sharing with me the following video:

I do think that bitcoin as an amazing technological innovation (that may give birth to other valuable inventions), but I also believe it is, for now, a useless one. If to embrace the metaphor from the video – bitcoin is like the invention of the engine. However the engine itself is a useless thing to anyone but engineers who understand and can work with engines. And engineers can speak passionately about what can be done with this engine but that doesn’t make the engine anymore useful. For an engine to become useful someone must transform it into something non-engineers can use – a car, a boat, a tractor, a plane, a drill, whatever. Doing that is way outside the skillset of engineers.

For all the wonderful things described in the video to come to life there is a huge road of end-user product development ahead. Who is going to do that?

Open Source Developers? Though I am a big fan of and live almost entirely with open-source software there is one thing that open-source, as a community, fails to do – and that is to create end-user products. The amazing proliferation of Linux is not as an end-user product but as an engine developed by engineers for other engineers. So I do not see the open-source community being able to deliver the promised future in the video.

Venture Capitalists? So far most (if not all) of the developments that have given public awareness and rise to bitcoin have been made by people with parasitic vested interests – to exploit bitcoin for profit. Their entire mentality (from business models to code) is closed and is a parasite on top of the open system. Given the generic abilities of the bitcoin system – there is nothing to prevent parasites from attaching themselves to it. If you are engineer involved in bitcoin you can get along (have a wallet) without help from anyone else. But everyone else is going to have to through the parasites to gain acces … and the parasites are going bring with them fees … but more importantly exploitation … they are going to bring with them the same faulty mentalities that have brought us to where we are. That is a change that takes more then technology.

Either way – bitcoin is going to both feed an already vast digital divide and move power from finance geeks to  software geeks.

What is amazing to me is how, in the most practical way, bitcoin has almost zero relevancy to my actual day-to-day life. Granted I do not live a typical life, but my life is at a kind of middle-ground between those living in the comforts and delusions of technology and those who will either go to sleep hungry today or slave through the day for their food. Zero relevance. That itself is a problem, but a bigger problem is that the makers of this technology cannot see it.

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Chris Hedges – The Pathology of the Rich


Chris Hedges seems to bring together the ideas of This Civilization is Already Dead and the Charitable Industrial Complex – describing how the lives of the very rich nurture deep misperceptions which have been dominating and shaping the world we live in.

via CC Magazine

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Charles Eisenstein & Polly Higgins in Olso – November 2013


A fresh conversation between Charles Eisenstein and Polly Higgins. Having heard them before the talk itself feels like a repeat but the audience questions (almost an hour) brought some new, interesting and fresh things to the surface. I first read about Polly Higgins and her ecocide work in Permaculture one or two years ago. It’s great to feel it maturing into a word that is better known and can be used fluently in conversation.


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This Civilization is Already Dead



Now, when I look into our future — into the Anthropocene — I see water rising up to wash out lower Manhattan. I see food riots, hurricanes, and climate refugees. I see 82nd Airborne soldiers shooting looters. I see grid failure, wrecked harbors, Fukushima waste, and plagues. I see Baghdad. I see the Rockaways. I see a strange, precarious world.

Our new home.

The biggest problem we face is a philosophical one: understanding that this civilization is already dead. The sooner we confront this problem, and the sooner we realize there’s nothing we can do to save ourselves, the sooner we can get down to the hard work of adapting, with mortal humility, to our new reality.”

source: Learning How to Die in the Anthropocene

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Peter Buffett on the Charitable Industrial Complex


“It’s time for philanthropy to be held accountable. Not only to the people they intend to help, but also to the public. When big philanthropic dollars come in, government feels less obliged to spend money towards issues like poverty, hunger, or education. At the same time, government’s weakened when an affluent class parks its assets in tax shelters and deploys its huge wealth to push its own interests.”


article mentioned in the interview The Charitable Industrial Complex @ The New York Times

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Yoga On the Mat Practice: Summer-Fall 2013


During late spring and early summer months I was slowly trying to make my way onto the mat to find a regular practice. I was getting on occassionaly but not regularly. I was getting on the mat, but it wasn’t inviting. I was struggling to make a proper space for it … a daily routine that would incorporate a practice smoothly. The daily routine wasn’t settling (to say the least) and neither was my practice.

In late June I was speaking to my teacher who suggested that I was trapped in practicing irregularity. He took a piece of paper, wrote, scanned and sent me a practice sequence. Since then I’ve been practicing regularly. That is one of the valuable (and tricky) gifts my teacher has to offer me … an uplifting inspiration and motivation. There was no way I was going to let his attentions wash over me and leave me behind. Still I did not practice every day due to planned journeys and inevitable life-waves; I generally do not get on the mat to settle my life but settle my life to get on the mat.


This is the practice I was given. It is a cikitsa (recovery) practice:ronen-june-2013

Health Insurance

Though I’ve placed myself in a nourishing environment in terms of food, air, space, etc. the transition to it was (and sometimes the continued participation in it still is)  very demanding. I believe that my past investments in Yoga practice supported me in the transition yet the transition itself depleted me (in many ways). I used myself up and it was now up to me to pull myself back together.

I have no official (as in organized/regulated by society) health insurance (through a combination of choice and circumstance). Yet when I received this practice it dawned on me what amazing health insurance I do have. I recognized that my teacher handed me a prescription. Though unlike a typical prescription that you take to someone else to fill for you this is a prescription that I must be able to read, understand and put to action on my own.

I am able to read this prescription because of my extended training. To outsiders I am a trained Yoga teacher, though within my teacher’s circle I am first and foremost a yoga practitioner. I took up  “teachers training” for my own benefit, not for becoming a teacher. The prescription is filled with explicit but also implicit information. It takes a long, quality and established relationship – like that of a teacher and a student – to be able to have access to and benefit from such a gift.

I am able to to put it to use because of how my life is organized. The first two years at Bhudeva were extremely hectic and demanding. This year, with most of life foundations in place, I decided not to take on anything more than life would hand me. I focused on settling down, making space, nourishing myself and creating conditions for practice. I designated this year (though it is not limited to one calendar year) as a time of healing. That is also the scale of healing that I was taught. There is no take these pills or do this practice and tomorrow everything will be better. Health is a continuous effort and investment, healing even more so.

Lying Down First

The practice I prescribed to myself, before being given this practice by my teacher, was a basic SKLIBS (more like SL[B]S). Though I was doing it softly it was an incorrect practice for me. Standing postures drained me very quickly. Then lying down became a trap – I would be so tired that I would have a hard time continuing beyond lying down. I became wary of lying down and my “solution” was to avoid a stay in savasana and discipline myself to continue the practice sequence (a strategy that did not work many times).

When I was first given this practice I recognized that I had accumulated a subtle fear of lying down, fearing that would steal my strength and motivation to practice. Yet over these past months lying down at the beginning of the practice was an oh-so-welcome experience. I was starting from a place of rest, gently introducing breath and movement. Building up instead of wearing down.

Ironically, now that tiredness was not weighing down on me, staying in savasana became more difficult. Now I had a settled body but an unsettled mind to deal with. It is only in recent days (almost 5 months of practice) that I began to experience an inviting savasana. A peaceful steadiness that I could hold and could hold me. Not only that, but the savasana that invites me to stay is in the middle of the practice (step 7 in the sequence) and even though I do stay in it, it does not trap me. I am able to continue a quality, present practice after it.


The quality of breathing was the first thing to surface from my past. It was such a core and immersive part of the teachings and practices that it is a second nature to me. My breath quickly expanded in asana to a vicinity of an 8 second inhale with an equal or longer exhale. That may vary depending on the asana and my overall vitality – so the inhale can drop to 6 seconds and the exhale can extend to 10 seconds and beyond.

My body also has a very good memory of the subtelties of practice. The practice itself is accessible. So during uninterrupted stretches of practice the focus of most of my attention and most of the refinement came in the quality of my breathing.

In the beginning my breath was very demanding in the standing postures (regardless of how much space I gave the movement within the breath). Now my breathing is fairly steady and available throughout the practice. A very noticeable improvement.

Bahya Kumbhaka

The Bahya Kumbhaka (holding the breath after the exhale) had a very powerful impact on me. At first it caused quite a bit of resistance which I met with just enough discpline to visit the place, but not for a long stay.

It has now evolved to be a potentially very different experience. For the most part it is an inviting place that I can stay in without ripples of effort and stress emanating from it. It is overall a steady experience though ripples of tension from life off-the-mat can and do effect my ability to stay in it. This 2 or 3 second window is a direct and honest portrayal of where I am.


When I started the practice my shoulders hurt. Especially in parivrti trikonasana (triangle pose – #6) where I had to use a variant that would not send shooting pains in my shoulder blades.

That has improved drastically. It took some patience in the beginning to work through it but there was a fairly quick improvement. Then something seemed to open up and I believe I now have access to this posture (shoulders included) that I’ve never had before.

When my continuous practice breaks this is one quality that seems to fade slightly. My shoulders and shoulder blades become tensed and heavy and it takes another stretch of patient and continuous practice for me to experience them opening up again.

Lying Twists

The range of exploration I’ve experienced in this sequence is hard to out in words. The work in the posture was a dance between rigidity in my hips and my shoulders. The first steps were about simply gaining access to the posture and most of the work went into the hips. Then when they opened up (to places I’d known before) the exploration extended into the shoulders and then the muscle-chains that connect the two areas.

I have an unusualy mixed relationship with this posture. On the one hand I feel that between the hips, shoulders and breath I could continue exploring and refining it forever. On the other hand I am beginning to feel that I have completed this posture and that there is an opportunity to move to wider variations.

Like my shoulders in parivrti trikonasana, here my hips aptly reflect life tensions. Also like the shoulders, a continuous and attentive practice brings back release and space … even quicker than it comes to the shoulders.

Stamina – Stretching Consciousness

My physical stamina is still very low (or at least thats how I perceive it). To me its not just about stamina … I think vitality is a better word … though in this context it is expressed as physical vitality.

I meet it most in the forward bends (standing and sitting). If I consciously meet these postures on a physical level (which is the default) I experience a heaviness and a resulting effort. When this happens I am fairly quickly able to make what is at first a physical shift: relating to them as stretches rather then lifts. The first impact this has on me is less physical effort by subtly working more / smaller / subtle muscles – a little movement in a lot of places rather thatn a lot of movement in a few places.

However that is old news for me. What has become an interesting experience is a subtle shift in consciousness. The shift in physical awareness seems to echo back into a more subtle aspect of my consciousness and generates there a sensation of expansion and lightness (the opposite of heaviness). It is as if the lifting is no longer just a physical act but an act of consciousness. I cannot at this point in time say more about it … just that it is there, it is very subtle and intriguing.

Unlike my physical stamina in which I experience (and have always experienced) limitations … this stretching of consciousness feels potentially endless.


Though it isn’t really a pranayama practice, the ujjayi breathing sequence has been a fairly steady experience from the beginning. My sequence is as follows: x4 x4 x4 x4 x4 x4
free x4

The first  formula (4 seconds) I don’t do much anymore. It was very useful in the beginning. Though I felt I could skip it I felt that when I did there was a subtle ruggedness in the rest of the sequence.

I was able to go up to fairly quickly and comfortably. The exhale expanded to 15 soon after. Though that too may not be available to me when there are life-tensions reverberating through me.


A couple of months into the practice sitting became a welcome place for me. I found myself staying and present in a seated position. My focus has been “I am  sitting”. Recently I’ve refined that to touching my thumbs and first fingers together and placing my attention on those point of contact.

I find myself wanting a more specific focus for sitting.


In the beginning my eyes would not stay steadily and softly closed, they displayed plent of agitation. That has improved greatly, though there is still room for improvement.


The practice has been very supportive and educative. I am a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to navigate myself into such a practice. I am more grateful that I have a teacher that could support me.

I’ve asked my teacher to change the practice into a raksana (sustenance) practice. That will happen next week … which is what prompted me to finally write this long overdue post.

As winter sets it practicing gets trickier. The floor is getting colder and colder. I now practice on two layers of rigid foam insulation, a blanket and a yoga mat. I tend to practice in the middle of the day afer the rocket stove (and hopefully the day) has warmed the room. Though, because hot air rises, lying down on the floor is still getting colder (and the change is radical when kneeling and standing which bring me closer to warmth). I still have layers of clothes available to use. I hope to be able to benefit from the rest-space of winter and to sustain a regular practice throughout.


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Two Women

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Udacity Succumbing


This article about Udacity and its founder Sebastian Thrun was a fascinating read. It is impressive to read about a business leader that is not blinded by the indicators of success but looks for a deeper truth and tried to address it. However unlike the person who brought it to my attention I do not view this change as a positive “pivot” but rather as succumbing. This is the part of the text where disappointment set in:

“At the end of the day, the true value proposition of education is employment”

This is an old truth that has been recognized and challenged for some years now. Udacity was born into a reality where this truth no longer holds true (or at least not as obviously as Thrun presents it, and surely not as a “revelation”). Ironically Thrun already knows better, a truth that surfaces when he speaks of his own 5 year old son:

“In my son’s kindergarten, they’re telling us how to get him into Stanford,” he says. “By their advice, I’m doing everything wrong, because I’m trying to make him happy rather than putting him through as many piano lessons as possible.”

So which is it happiness or employment? (If you want to argue that the two are synonymous then please don’t waste my time and do so somewhere else)

What if many of the people who do not complete the courses or pass the tests are there out of … oh … curiosity? a passion to learn? what it they are not doing it for a job?

What would happen if Udacity would continue to be available to people as they seek out education in their lives?

What if instead of suddenly large streams Udacity would become another channel of education, one that challenges the foundations of the crumbling paradigms of modern day societies?

What if Udacity was able to remain present those who wish to learn for the sake of learning and do for the sake of doing?

But more importantly what is causing Udacity to succumb to dominant paradigms? I would suggest that one substantial compromise in its foundations causes this … the venture capital that went into it. Udacity can no longer do for the sake of doing, that has been undermined with a need to do for the sake of making a profit. It is also I believe a key difference between it and the not-for-profit KhanAcademy (which apparently inspired Thrun to create Udacity in the first place) who have stayed true to their path with a simply stated, clear and humble purpose of free education for all.

The irony of it all is that Udacity doesn’t need to pivot. Maybe Udacity needs to re-evaluate its attitude towards and understanding of its “failing” majority?

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At LOTE3 I met Annelieke … I like how her name demands to be said … completely properly.

Bembo sent her my way on the day before the even opened … initially we sat down in the company of another person … then it was just the two of us … then there was a whole and complete sense of connection. Later that evening was the Pasta party. I took comfort in seeing her … in having her in my line of sight … then she disappeared .. and I became strangely anxious

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