The Hoody, Really?

Disclaimer: This post is a response to a supposedly-professional journalistic article. I am taking into consideration that mainstream journalism is potentially as morally compromised as the subjects of their works. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this post.

I am really enjoying watching the Facebook financial-boat sinking. I don’t know if it will go under completely, one can hope, but it’s current failures in the financial markets are preciously revealing. Not so much about Facebook which really hasn’t changed that much before or after its IPO, but more about the workings of the financial markets. This article, with its whimsy title, is filled with gems about the dynamics of the financial markets:

1. ” … things are happening so quickly …” The only thing that is happening so quickly is that the share price of Facebook is crashing while Facebook, as a company, continues to be Facebook. Financial experts parasites are so narrow-minded (and vested) that they are scrambling for an explanation and will look everywhere except the meeting between Facebook and the financial system … where they may actually be able to learn something.
2. “Trading volume was abnormally heavy, a sign of the fury with which some of the company’s earliest investors ran for the exits as soon as they could.” Even that does not say much about Facebook. It does confirm that financial experts parasites who were on-board solely for making money are now re-evaluating their investment detaching from their host. Though it aches me to say it … Good for Facebook!
3. “This was the most anticipated IPO in many years and it was like an exploding cigar,” You know you are talking to a financial expert parasite when he (for feminist readers: take comfort that it is most likely a he and not a she) uses a practical joke to demonstrate his highly thought out theories unfounded lame theories.
4. “Still, restless investors blame Zuckerberg for several missteps, such as pricing the IPO at a stratospheric $100-billion valuation.” What are they going to do, blame themselves for buying-in anyways 🙂
5. “The moves were seen as siphoning extra profit for the company and big shareholders at the expense of subsequent investors.”. “Was seen”? Sheesh … how about “is designed” for siphoning extra money (the word profit really feels awkard here). Isn’t that what an IPO is has become?
6. ” … he wore sneakers and his trademark hoodie for Facebook’s first big investor meeting – is viewed as disrespectful of the corporate world he needs to win over.” This is as honest a depiction of the problem as could be. The sneakers and hoodie ARE disrespectful in the corporate world, the exaggerated valuations ARE respectful. Thas it to say, if Mark would simply put on a tie then the Facebook financials would be OK. However, since he isn’t willing to wear a tie we should replace him with someone who does … wear a tie. There it is, social patterns in play where intellect should have been dominant.
7. “He’s trying to appeal to his audience instead of being responsible to his investors.” Is it just me or does this seem to imply that there are no Facebook users who wear ties? These financial experts backwards-idiot-parasites simply don’t get that he isn’t trying to appeal to anyone except himself. I don’t know if he wears it because it’s comfortable, or because he is used to it or because he is trying to appeal to others like him … but whatever the reason it’s about him and not about anyone else. Sorry everyone else – it isn’t and never was about you … that goes true for all the Facebook users out there.
8. “Even Apple Inc.co-founder Steve Jobs, who was known for favoring turtlenecks and jeans, donned a suit in his early days when he was touting his upstart.” You see? That’s research for you … and research shows that it is possible and profitable to do so. Argument closed.
9. “The stock has fallen because investors have realized that Facebook’s growth potential isn’t as great as they had thought, analysts said.” Amen. Short-term greedy folks realized they got fucked and … please pardon my crudeness … but if you are not gay then, hoody or no hoody, you probably want that cock out of your ass NOW!
10. “Facebook freed up about 271 million shares … and a whopping 1.2 billion shares in mid-November. Many investors are hesitant to buy Facebook shares until that cloud is lifted.” If this is true then investment banking is a social behavior amongst the rich. They may wear ties to give off an image of maturity, intellect, authority and responsibility but they behave with no more intelligence then that of a typical shopper. Ties don’t come laden with intelligence.

If nothing else then maybe Mark Zuckerberg will contribute to the unveiling of superficial social patterns. Mark’s Facebook (yes, I am implying a “good facebook” is possible) is a bad thing. Mark’s hoody defeating ties is a good thing.