How was the performance?

A week ago (April 23rd) I participated in a second performance of Shitafon. I was asked and I want to share something about the performance but I just came to terms with the fact that”s not going to happen, at least not in the near future. I do have thoughts on the periphery of the performance and those I do want to put down.

My usual part in performances is as photographer using live stills.  In Shitafon I am listed as photographer – but photography is not a part of the performance. Instead I write live text that is projected into the performance space and I play Shakuhachi. This performance was a special one because this was the first time I left the house without taking any camera gear. 2 years ago I was frightened to enter a performance space, sometime later I found confidence in hiding behind the camera. Now for the first time I entered it naked. This to me was the highlight of the performance.

I am blessed for the opportunity to perform with Shahar & Yael. More then anything else (even more then meeting an audience) this performance was an opportunity to step out and meet myself. I wished, and still do, that we (Shahar, Yael, myself and Tamar the lighting designer) had more opportunities to explore together before the performance. That did not happen – there isn’t space for it.

I came to the performance with a sense of distance. Partly this is because I did not get to spend time with my fellow-performers. Partly this is because I have distanced myself physically. Partly this is because I have set aside my creative ambitions and given them a lower priority to focus on making a living. Partly this is an indication of the “state of the art” in Israel – I had to pay to perform.

During the weeks before the performance I spent time with a book Shahar recommended to me Coltrane: The Story of a Sound. I found inspiration in the book, I listened to Coltrane, I wrote Coltrane. My creativity found peace with Coltrane. The day after the performance I completed the book. In the last sentences of the book I found this:

“It [Jazz] is an art that thrives on what it can do, not so much on what it does. ”

This is why I went to perform, this was the quality of my presence, and this is how I left the performance behind. Thank you Shahar, thank you Yael, thank you Tamar, thank you Coltrane and thank you Ben. Thank you for giving my perception wings and an open sky.