Dear Child of Mine,

Please join us. It feels now like your presence has been with me from the first time I denied your existence – a very very long time. Most of these years I was afraid both for myself and for you. I wanted to figure out what’s going on in this thing called life. After all these years I can admit to you that I have failed – I haven’t figured it out, and I don’t think I ever will. But in the process unexpected things have happened which have made it possible for me to face you with open arms.

There were two things that I wanted before coming to you. I wanted to have money and I wanted to be happy, to be able to smile at you. While I have failed at money I have thrived in happiness. I am looking out at a beautiful view as we live closer to nature now. Your mother and I have created a huge space cushioned with embraces, care, appreciation and curiosity – a space I now recognize as your space. Our lives are filled with a sense of inspiration and purpose – and every morning we recognize and express our gratefulness for a clear sense of presence and direction when facing so much that is unknown to us.

I am curious about you. I believe you know our strengths and weaknesses, our passions and fears, our capacities and limitations –  and I am amazed that you have chosen to spend this life with us. I wonder what you bring with you and I am looking forward to changes that your presence bring into our journey. I have so much faith in you and so much hope when I think of you.

During my morning meditation you came to me again. As I embraced, you a single fear surfaced and brought tears to my eyes. Together with all the love and support you will find with us, I am afraid you may also face hunger. I can peacefully accept hunger for me as a consequence of the choices I have made, but I fear of making that choice for you. I truly fear this. As your presence nears us and will turn into a physical presence, so does my sense of complete surrender to my fears and questions. This sweet and beautiful and graceful path I am on, the very path that leads me to you, is also distancing me from many others, people that our livelihood depends on.

Please accept my apologies for any suffering you may experience once you occupy a physical body and join us. I will be there to embrace you, I will be there to listen, I will be there to learn, I will be there to guide, and I will be there to witness your suffering. I so wish I knew how to magically make that suffering go away. But I don’t.

Finally it seems that I am surrendering to you. I have great faith in you. I have great faith that your sweet and clear perception will guide you and perhaps even show me the way. When you do come, please know I am lost.

Love
Your friend of many lifetimes