“I too did not want to take the path of a warrior. I believed that all that work was for nothing, and since we are all going to die what difference would it make to be a warrior? I was wrong. But I had to find that out for myself. Whenever you do realize that you are wrong, and that it certainly makes a world of difference, you can say that you are convinced. And then you can proceed by yourself. Any by yourself you may even become a man of knowledge.”
Carlos Castaneda

Journey to Ixtlan

Her Pace

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We are heading out today to Mociu for another couple of days of work renovating the old house (we are moving out in two weeks). It’s already 08:00am and she is still sleeping.

There is a voice in me that sais “wake her up, we are losing the cool morning hours of work” – it’s an assertive and pushing voice. It’s also a subtle expression of fear and anxiety (that we won’t get things done on time). It’s also a voice that expresses a will to control the outcome of things.

Then, when I wait a little there is another voice that says “let her rest well, this is how she is setting a pace for us” – it’s an embracing voice. It’s also a supportive voice. It’s a trusting voice. It relaxes me and gives me a sense of space. It relieves me of a need to plan and control. It brings me back to the moment (a cup of tea, this short post and reading about grafting trees).

Logical arguments can be made either way – so there isn’t really an intellectual resolution to make. Instead it is simply a choice – and I choose to embrace her pace.

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