“I too did not want to take the path of a warrior. I believed that all that work was for nothing, and since we are all going to die what difference would it make to be a warrior? I was wrong. But I had to find that out for myself. Whenever you do realize that you are wrong, and that it certainly makes a world of difference, you can say that you are convinced. And then you can proceed by yourself. Any by yourself you may even become a man of knowledge.”
Carlos Castaneda

Journey to Ixtlan

Emotionally Winter


Having lived most of my life (though working on changing that) in Israel I was used to clear seasons and weather patterns. Summer is hot and there is no such thing as a summer rain. Winter in Israel isn’t really winter by Romanian standards – temperatures go down but not near freezing (though there are places in Israel that are colder) and there is no where nearly as much rain as there is here in Romania.

Here in Romanian though there is a huge difference between winter and summer, the summer is not always as clear cut as it was in Israel. There are summer days here that can seem winter-ish by Israeli standards. A summer (and surely a fall day like today) day can start cloudy, cool, windy and wet and end with clear skies and a hot burning sun … and such transitions can occur more than once during a day.

I am still getting used to such weather swings. In my mind I understand better this behavior and what to expect of it. But in my heart there is a different story – and I am surprised time and again by my emotional response to weather changes. In my heart when winter-ish weather comes something comes to an end, something closes … the ease and lightness of summer existence and in its place comes a more demanding and burdensome existence (for me … going outside is less obvious when it is windy, wet and muddy).

I never really noticed this emotional shift until it started happening more often here in Romania. My emotional understanding is lagging behind my mindful understanding. Emotions seems more deeply rooted then mind, more subtle, more sensitive, more fragile and more volatile. The weather here has shed a fascinating light on an existence and dynamic of an emotional body that has a rhythm and wisdom of its own.

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