“And thus you will dance to your death here, on this hilltop, at the end of the day. An din your last dance you will tell of your struggle, of the battles you have won and of those you have lost; you will tell of your joys and bewilderments upon encountering personal power. Your dance will tell about the secrets and about the marvels you have stored. And your death will sit here and watch you.”
Carlos Castaneda

Journey to Ixtlan

Myself – July 2010: Regular

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July was thankfully uneventful.

The summer heat was not as intense as it could have been – living at this higher altitude in the north means pleasant air throughout most of the day and low humidity. Evenings are a pleasure. Still spending most of the time at home, except for shopping or going out to eat once a week in a neighbouring village.

My practices are finding a new regularity and stability. I was able to gain momentum into experiencing a wholeness and focus in practice. I am practicing almost every morning. Pranayama is also becoming a more regular practice. There have even been days where I’ve been on the mat more than once. I have also tasted again the sweet intensity of an evening practice.

There was one defining event in July. I had the honor and pleasure of helping my teacher migrate from three outdated web-sites to one integrated modern, easy to manage website. The work itself was extremely rewarding (still ongoing) – there was plenty of motivation, excellent and open communication and rewarding results. But even more so was having the opportunity to be in touch with my teacher – it confirmed and reinforced my presence and my direction, it affected the quality of presence in my practices, it gave me an opportunity to gain a deeper perspective into the work and the questions that my teacher faces – a very grounding experience.

Though I can’t place a finger on it, I feel that Andreea and I have created new subtle links between us – that our relationship has been somehow refined. We have separately and together found a way to transform our fears, tensions and uncertainties into appreciation, embracing and growth. There has been a subtle but clear shift in my perception of our relationship and relationships in general. I see better.

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